It’s Mother’s Day today. I didn’t get a card from either of my two children but that didn’t matter, because they both do more to show their love for me every day than most other children have to. For example, I came into the kitchen for breakfast earlier and my daughter told me to sit down as she brought everything to me. She hugged me then and said ‘happy mother’s day’. Better than a card, don’t you think?

It wasn’t always like this. I carried, fed and did everything that any mother would do until my health made it all difficult for me. But I am beginning to understand that mothering means more than doing the obvious, physical things. Sometimes the most crucial thing is about being there.

Being ‘mother’ can also mean more than being a ‘mother’. There are many women (and men) who have a notable capacity to care for others. They don’t need a label to prove it. A card, in those circumstances, might be welcome. So if you feel pushed out by the bunches of flowers, the official acknowledgement of mothers, remember that the caring you do is worth so much more.

Looking up to the mothers that brought us into this world: in precious memory or in the present, we are so grateful. My own mother does more for me during this more dependent time than she has done for more than twenty years. She and my dad make me coffee and lunch when I’m on my own. If my feet aren’t lifting, they help with that too. It is not a situation I enjoy but, if I put my pride to one side, I am being cared for in a wonderful way. It is not a usual sight to see an eighty-seven year old father pushing his young daughter in a wheelchair but as he says ‘it helps me to hold on to something when it’s helping you’. So this, right now, is a gift I would not have been given if MS had not put me in an unwelcome situation. Every cloud…

If you are a mother, then treasure every second when you get to hold your child and watch them grow. If you ‘mother’ people in your life, then know you are appreciated and noticed. If you are missing your own mother, let comfort come to you, perhaps in unexpected ways. And remember, every day can be a happy one if you look for glimpses of silver linings.