The dark out there.

I’ve always been the type who fears the dark, far-off places, unknown things and future events. When I was wee, an old man asked me why I was afraid of the dark when everything is the same as when it’s daylight. I haven’t forgotten that, but still the dark figures lurk. The year I went to France, my mum called it my ‘giant’. Right now I’m waiting for a letter inviting me to a spinal MRI and wildly hoping it doesn’t come…

These were my fears before but now, coming out of my safe lockdown house into the world has become my number one fear.

Continue reading “The dark out there.”

Complicating kindness

I’ve had this knot in my chest since Saturday. Why? I read a tweet by someone who, rightfully or not, was destroying the act of clapping for the NHS every Thursday night. Admittedly, she did work for the NHS and had a very valid argument for her objection, mainly to do with the Conservative party. She turned it into the notion of people clapping while medical staff walked, poorly protected, to their deaths. She was, unfairly in my opinion, muddying the waters of good intention. I shook my head throughout the whole critique. No, you are being unfair to so many good people here.

Continue reading “Complicating kindness”

I see you

At the beginning of lock-down I persuaded my parents to have a Duo call with me. My mum said “peepo!” when she saw me. Last week we had a zoom church service. The first five minutes were filled with people seeing their friends and saying hi. Over and over. It was funny but also the most joyful thing I’ve seen in this dark time.

Read more