This is where I live these days: when you can’t manage things, you either end up doing nothing or doing something ‘instead’. That can be as good as the other impossible option, but mostly it takes more positivity and perseverance. Right now, ‘instead’ of driving my son to his piano lesson, I am sitting under a blanket waiting for my long-suffering husband to get back.

Moving away from self-pity, I’m offering you a list of insteads which you might like:

Instead of getting freezing, sit in a warm car and smile at those crazy people having a bitterly cold sea swim (I know at least two people who will disagree with that one). Instead of depressing yourself by watching the news at night, read a good book, or consider praying about it. Instead of making your child practise, play your own old instrument that is gathering dust in the corner. Instead of texting a friend, send them flowers. Instead of crying over memories from a past you can’t re-create, throw your arms round the people in your life right now.

Instead of listing the things you can’t do, make a new list of all you are thankful for right now. Look up that Nina Simone song, ‘Aint got no’ and sing it at the top of your voice, if you’re alone, or maybe even if you’re in public. It might help someone!

Thinking deeper than that, people 2000 years ago were waiting for a king who would rescue them from oppression, and God came to them as a helpless baby. Right now there are powerful Russian leaders, self-absorbed American presidents and overly rich celebrities  They do not hold the promise of salvation. That baby turned man of sorrows was and always will be the answer to every heart’s cry. That is the greatest ‘instead’ you will ever encounter. I guarantee it ❤️