Since they were born, I have devoted most of my life to them. At the beginning, it was definitely a one-sided thing, and I foolishly wished it over. But after the first while of simply giving, feeding, getting up repeatedly through the night, kneeling down time after time to change nappies, it started to change. I got payment in smiles, then hugs, then jumbled words. Those were times i hope I never forget, even when 20 years have passed.
But right now, they are becoming my friends. I can have a conversation with them, and know they understand. We laugh a lot, they hug me a lot, and we are happy. (Of course, the picture I’m painting has blemishes of irritation, rage and disappointment, but let me talk about the good side.) Yesterday they went with me to pick up my medicine at the hospital, and nearly every afternoon they play quietly together while I have a rest. They don’t question my need for any of these things, but know more than I give them credit for, I’m certain. When my legs are weak, one of them will notice and take my hand. When there are tears in my eyes, they will hold onto my legs, and say nothing.
This summer has been a real blessing. I have shared a lot of beautiful moments with my two, and most of the time, that has made me very happy. When school starts, I will not breath a sigh of relief as I walk away. I will miss them both, and be so thankful for their company, so thankful for their childhood, When that passes, all in a flash, they will be independent, and mostly not need me anymore. But, funnily enough, I will always need them. My two companions.