The heart of the matter

When you can’t do the things you always did, when circumstances have robbed you of any luxury, when you have to drop everything for someone else, what are you left with?

I was taught a simple lesson about that today. My daughter was too unwell to go to school. All my plans of writing, Christmas present wrapping, ham purchasing flew out the window. I could feel the frustration building from the moment I called the school.

But then, I just. let. go. I remembered the words I’d said out loud when I faced up to my diagnosis all those years ago: ‘all I want is to marry (my now husband) and have his children.’.

When did that ‘all I want’ change to include time to write and buy a ham? I sat with my wee girl and we watched Elf. I had many chances to focus on one of the things I had wished for back then. This day has been a gift, not a hassle. Shame on me for losing sight of that.

When a loved one gets sick we get that same priority shift. Everything that truly counts comes into sharp focus. The things we normally do are thrown out and changed into ‘what can I do for you right this moment?’

It’s true we miss the daily grind and the drudgery then.

Isn’t it a pity that we can’t hold the things that matter at the top of our To Do Lists all the time? I know, that’s not realistic. Here’s what I’m going to do though- I’m stopping and I’m going to look after my daughter again.

Some things are worth more than this.

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