Yesterday I realised that I’d changed.
Before, when an item was out of place in the house, I corrected it, sometimes without even noticing I was doing it. Messy cupboards or drawers or floors were instantly tidied, bedspreads pulled straight, weeds plucked out of the driveway. ( No matter if the rest of the family were all in the car already, waiting. )
Of course I could say it’s a health thing, but I’m hoping it’s something more than that.
There were two drawers in the kitchen that waited three years to be sorted out. In days gone by, I would never have let that happen. Don’t get me wrong, every time I chucked the wooden spoon in there, I flinched. But not enough to change it.
So what has altered my past OCD? Fatigue has kept me on the sofa with my children more than it used to. Writing has also climbed up my priorities, vying for the top spot.
As well as that, I think, I hope, I have learnt to look away and let go.
What is pulling on your attention at the minute? Is it worth it? Do you have a drawer like mine, not bothering you enough to make you do anything about it? My advice? Let it go.
I’m not saying ignore commitments or shirk the housework. Just think about what matters for a while, and make considered choices.
When I finally did sort my spoon drawer, I was pleased, but I was also strangely proud I had left it messy for so long. There are times when I cry a little over the things I’ve left undone, but today I’m choosing to be thankful for the things I did instead.
There’s still the weedy flower beds, the grubby walls and another, very chaotic herb cupboard to think about, but I’ll file that under ‘it can wait’ for now.
Why don’t you join me?