The pity party’s been cancelled.
I knew early on today that there was going to be a fight. Between self-pity and gratitude. The rest of the family headed off to climb a mountain and I was left to my own devices at home.
Usually one of two things happen at times like this. Either I give in to tears OR I realise this is my chance to do whatever I want, whenever I want. So far, I’ve caught up on e-mails, hoovered the house and enjoyed a leisurely lunch. I did go out and contemplate my bike and read the back of the packet of garden peas. But so far, that’s been all. Until I started this of course.
Having been known as ‘the moan’ of the family since I was wee, and knowing how easy it is to slip into it again, I’m writing myself back up that dark and slippery slope right now. I have discovered a few antidotes to negativity over the years. One is keeping busy. Another is listening to someone else. But the best one is simply: being thankful.
I’m thankful for the peace of a house usually full of barking dog and grumpy, permanently bored children. I’m thankful for the absence of agenda in my life today. I’m thankful that my family are happy, and that I’m not there to hold them back. And let’s be honest: I have never enjoyed mountain climbing, even at the peak of my fitness. If given a choice between sitting on my sofa and hauling myself up a relentless mountain, of course I would do for the former. And they did phone me at the top to show me the view – it’s a win-win.
So, I’m pushing out the moany part of me, and looking for someone a lot more perky.
I wonder what version of yourself you will look for today?