Drumming up

A little enthusiasm.

When you wake up in the morning, what do you feel? Do you groan and feel a sense of dread about the things you have to face that day? Or do you spring up, punch the air and shout ‘yes, another day!’. If you are in the second group then you’ve got to tell me your secret because I am, without a doubt, a gloomy member of the first.

Hilariously, I used to teach positive thinking as part of a community education personal development programme. Back then, I probably had no idea how much I would end up needing it myself.

Last weekend my husband and I were discussing how we would celebrate our 40th birthdays next year. He wants to go to New York. I have visions of crawling around the city, miserable because I couldn’t physically manage it. So, he asked me where I would really love to go instead.

I had no answer.

I suddenly realised that I have forgotten what it was like to be excited about something. Every outing, every proposal is met with negative caution as I figure out how it would work for me, with my limited energy levels, my useless legs. It used to be that I shook that off and just did it. These days, there have been too many falls, too many stuck times for me to believe I can do anything. These days, I’m default exhausted.

But come on, it’s time to watch the paralympians, remember the children battling cancer, look out at the grieving forcing themselves out of the house again, think of those who keep going when inside they’re fighting off their own demons. They deserve a show of courage, not defeat.

I have days when I catch myself on, when I remind myself that we have been given, blessed with, one life. So let’s live it.

Digging up my previous lessons, I remember extolling the benefit of self-talk; ‘I can do this day’, ‘I am stronger than I think’,

‘ I will go to New York’ and no MS self-doubt can stop me. So. There.

What are you going to overcome today?

Go on-

you are,

you can

and you will!

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