Your bad experiences stop you from trying again.
I’ve always had a good memory. It used to be about what people were wearing when I was with them or scores of quotes from my English lit books. These days, sadly, I remember where I was when I last fell or walked too far. Yesterday, unusually, I chose to forget that I have a limited stamina when it comes to walking and I pushed myself too far. After losing my balance I thought, why didn’t I remember I’m like this? Why didn’t I just stay in the car?
Because I still have a wild hope that this time things will be better. Because I wanted to hear the waves and smell the sea.
If we let our future choices be coloured by our past failures then we will never step out with courage again.
Of course we need to learn from our mistakes, but don’t let the bad experiences hold you back. If I thought about all those times I’ve fallen, I would never go anywhere again. The next time though, I need to remember my limits and work around them.
Do you have a painful memory that is keeping you from trying again? Can you see a way to do it differently this time? Perhaps we need to be more like matadors. When we come face to face with the bull of our past, we need to find ways to work around it.
This morning I thought, ‘I nearly fell yesterday so I’m not going out today’. But half an hour later I got out of the car and walked into the shop. I was terrified but I did it. I knew I had to. Don’t imagine it’s going to go the same way as before. Don’t make room for worst case scenarios.
Shrink your fears into manageable chunks and the bull won’t seem so scary any more.