From the ‘can’t’s, ‘before’s, the ‘used to’s and find new ways.
I still don’t know where to put myself when the cleaner comes round every Friday. As I lifted my feet up for her to clean the floor, it hit me again: I need to stop remembering doing it all myself and start using the extra free time now given to me. It is so easy to feel beaten, lost and a little pointless when your old ways don’t structure your days the way they used to. But! There is another life waiting for you; it’s just hard to find it sometimes.
Does anyone else feel like that at the minute? Have your circumstances changed due to bad health, bereavement, children leaving home, redundancy or retirement? Where do we go from here? By (perhaps slowly) believing in our own self-worth. Knowing that there are other purposes, callings and tasks out there waiting for you to discover.
I just listened to two songs one after the other. The first was Alphaville wanting to stay ‘Forever Young’ and in the second, Stevie Wonder sings ‘I am old but I’m happy.’ There is a real tension between wishing we could be the way we were before and accepting who we are now.
Memories are tricky things. Photos tell us when we were happy even if the day was actually filled with difficulties. We look back on things and mostly pick out the best bits. Personally I find photographs quite sad to look at because they remind me of all that I used to be able to do. Now, I try to hide my trekking poles behind me. To recreate a past that is long gone now perhaps? It is time to extricate ourselves from harmful nostalgia and find a new path.
Think about what is within your reach right now and celebrate it. Today I’m keeping warm under the blanket the whole family, including the dog, fight over, writing for you. At this moment, I am happy.
The past might have been responsible for who we are, but the future is up to you. Every day is a chance to take a small step into it, and add to your story.
Everyone who loves you wants to be a part of that.