Dare to believe

That good things will happen.

In 2005 I told my husband I’d be fine without him, ‘it was just a routine appointment’ I said. I had no idea that bad things could happen to me the way they did with other people. That day my tendency towards optimism got a horrible knock. Since then I always fear the worst

It’s a terrible way to live.

We drove up to Horn Head a few days ago to see the sunset. As I had to wait in the car while the others walked out to catch it, all I could do was look for a change in colour in the landscape in front of me. It didn’t seem to get golden or pink so I thought it had not been a good one. Until my son came back and told me he had taken hundreds of photos and we drove round so I could see it too. It was far from disappointing.

Once you get hooked on the ‘I knew that would happen’s and the smug ‘i told you so’s it’s hard to remember how to practise hope. Believing that even now, sometimes, life will pleasantly surprise you. Every time your child walks to school, they’re more likely to be happy than run over. Every time you phone for results from those blood tests they’re more likely to be normal than concerning. Every time you look at the calendar and tentatively make plans you fear you won’t manage and then you do it anyway, that’s believing good things are still possible.

This very day I’m deciding that life will improve. Sometimes the expectation of that can make a big difference. I was told that the treatment I received would help, I was assured that this current state I’m struggling with will pass. I have forgotten to believe that. If you feel like nothing is ever going to change, then try to imagine how you would feel if something did. I will be prepared for something good to happen, if you promise to join me in believing that too.

Try and push back all the ‘last time’s and the ‘what if’s and get ready for a good surprise. What will happen today that you never expected? Be prepared for your catastrophising to be proven wrong.

It’s an overlooked notion, but things can actually turn out all right sometimes

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