Living with MS, I make sense of my existence by writing a post every week. There's fiction always lurking in the background too. I've self-published five novels now and I've more to discover!
For the past few months I have not been able to walk without the support of someone else. I tried with just my trekking poles at the weekend but had to concede that right now, I still need someone to keep me from falling.
There’s a very steep hill above the shore where we stay in Donegal. We were there for two weeks and I vowed I would get down and back before the holiday was out.
I was sitting on a deck chair while the rest of the family headed on to explore the beach when my daughter ran back to give me what you see in the picture above.
I’ve been sitting looking out at this tempting pool on the beach in Donegal the last three times I’ve been here. Watching other people swimming in it. Hearing how blue it looks and how warm it feels. But my legs have decided it is far from my reach. As I watched the high tide moving in yesterday evening it suddenly struck me: the pool might be too far, but when the tide comes in, places to swim are closer and almost possible. Changing your approach and letting go of the original plan is not giving up,
Is there anything that you can see but never reach? Do you dream of being able to do something that your mind tells you is impossible? Let’s look at it from a different perspective. Let’s believe in alternative ways of achieving what you feel right now will never happen.
I told you about the mobility scooter I nervously tried the other week. On it, I was able to reach places I hadn’t been close to for years. It’s not the way I wanted, but it brought so much within my mostly tiny world.
Can you see another way of achieving the dreams you feel are slipping away? It is a frustrating way of being, but maybe there is a different solution.
This evening, or maybe some time over the two week holiday, I am going to wait for the tide and try to catch it. So it’s not the distant pool but something like it is coming within my reach.
Can you look at your impossible dream and find another way to get it? Or can you do that for the person you see who has given up? I really hope you find a way. Dreams are not only for the go-getters.
My son is learning that Elton John song on the piano at the moment and with it pounding behind me every day, I couldn’t not write a blog post about it!
It is not a new feeling. When I was small I didn’t like going too high, too fast or too deep. I always erred on the safe side. I remember when I was waiting nervously on the edge of an ice rink, my German exchange partner grabbed my hand and tore round the ice with me. Or standing on the deck of a top-heavy boat, futilely trying to fight the way it plunged towards the waves. I was the slowest by far when I went go-karting on the P7 school trip to the Isle of Man.
Over a month ago I drove up to the house we lived in before. I had one motivation: how big was the birch tree now? But it wasn’t there. The new owners had cut it down. I remembered the joy I had felt when it was first planted, the anticipation of it growing tall and making the front more beautiful with its delicate leaves, silver bark and dappled shade. But someone else had not had those same thoughts. Maybe it had been diseased, maybe they had not realised what it would become. I learnt my lesson. You can’t go back. You have to embrace what you have in front of you right now.